Placement to Faciltate Communication.

Placement is preparing someone for communication.

When you place someone, you are going to tell them what's coming, how you want them to manage their feelings, what outcome you are looking for, how you want them to listen, what you want them to listen for and you ask them if they are willing to have a conversation like that.

I assume you have chosen an environment that is conductive to communication ie: it's quiet, private and you both have the time and space to communicate. Then you start the placement process:

Step 1 - what's the difference between a punch in the guts when you are not prepared and receiving one when you are ready and waiting for it? When you are prepared and ready, you can manage the pain. The first part of placement is telling your listener what is going to happen.
"In a couple of minutes I want to say something to you."

Step 2 - Tell them in what general area you are going to be talking to them about. "It's going to be about how we work together and how we can improve our communication"

Step 3 - Tell them how you want them to manage their emotions. Remember the punch? This is where you instruct them on an appropriate way to manage their feelings. Make sure you let them know how to manage their emotions so you feel safe and taken care of: "If you start to feel upset or angry, I'd like you to tell me how you feel, rather than lash out at me or attack me"

Step 4 - Tell them your clear outcome, the "Why" you are talking with them.
"....and why I'm having this conversation with you, is so that we can operate more like a team and improve the results we are producing."

Step 5 - Tell them how you would like them to listen. "I'd like you to listen to this like you were looking for a solution, you are looking for something that is going to help us both move forward."

Step 6 - Let them know what you'd like them to listen for. "I'd like you to listen particularly for anything that's going to help us communicate better when we are in action, anything that's going to help us both understand each other better."

Step 7 - ask them if they are willing to have this conversation under these terms.

If they say "Yes", then start your conversation.

If they say "No", then find out what they aren't willing to do and try to find a workable alternative. If you can't find one, then see if they would be willing to have this conversation at a later date or in more conducive circumstances.

This whole process is about taking care of your listener's feelings and preparing them for an important communication. You are demonstrating respect for them and great care. Your aim is that they feel comfortable and prepared - with no surprises ahead for them.

This process works best if you slow your speech tempo down and speak clearly and deliberately. This lets them know you are serious and has the added benefit of taking the emotion out of your delivery. Click here for a printable sheet.

I've just had a fantastic breakthrough conversation with my wife Rose where I invested the time to place her before I blurted out my communication. This really works!