The Three Ways to Conduct a Relationship.

John Demartini gets it right....a lot.

His writing sometimes hits esoteric high notes that are sometimes beyond me, but when he talks simple and straight - it rings true to me.

Here's an excerpt about the three ways to conduct a relationship:

"Our values determine the way in which we conduct our relationships.

There are three ways to conduct a relationship, and each one has an entirely different outcome.

A careless relationship is one in which you project and focus on your own values without considering your partner at all.

A careful relationship is when you think in terms of your partners values without considering you own.this one is called "walking on eggshells". Both are one-sided approaches that ignore the other person and create tension in the relationship.

But a caring relationship is one where you communicate your values in terms of theirs. You think of both sides simultaneously, expressing your love for yourself and each other.

The definition of caring is knowing someone well enough to know their values and caring enough to express your values in terms of theirs.

Often when we're in a relationship, we unwisely think the other person is supposed to be like us but if any two people are exactly the same, one of them is unnecessary. The purpose of a relationship is to teach us to love the parts we've disowned. Each person has their own set of values and no two people have the same set.

Each person expresses love through his or her own values. When we honor our partners value system, we realize that we're surrounded by love in forms we don't even recognize.

The power to transform your life is in your heart. You only need the courage to open it."