Support and Guidance

In a conversation with a very experienced coach the other night, I noticed he'd received an acknowledgement for his fathering skills.

It went like this:

"You don't try and be your kid's friend.  You simply support and guide them."

Something went clunk for me and I could see clearly that he was being a coach for his kids.

For years I've been coaching coaches and whenever they have goals regarding their parenting, I have always encouraged them to be a coach rather than a parent.

What that involves is stepping aside from:

• Your expectations you want your kids to live out for you
• Your fantasies you want your kids to live out for you
• Your determination to bring your kids up different to how you were brought up

The results of doing this usually is:

• You see what your kid really wants and is interested in
• You see parts of your kid that were blinded by your expectations, fantasies and rebellion.
• You are able to support and guide, instead of browbeat and proselytize
• You stop trying to "rescue" your kids

The results are so palpable and freeing. I have witnessed some profound transformations of relationships with this approach.

The funny thing is, I realise that this way of being, of supporting and guiding, has infiltrated my whole life and way of doing things.  I'd never noticed that.

That's how I relate to my son, my wife, my sister and my nephews. 

That's a nice thing to realise.

When philosophy and technique becomes part of you.

How's it going for you?

Thanks for visiting us here. What would your life be like with some clarity?  Call me on (+61) 439 979 577 or  email me, Mike Kennedy... to find out if this would work well for you.