Useful Yearning Vs Useless Yearning!

There are two types of yearning you may find yourself agonising about. As always, it's better to be aware of what you are doing than being paralyzed by whatever is going on in your head!


"Useless Yearning" is another extension of a yearning for things to resolve and make yourself feel better by wanting another person to change - this is what we do!


For instance, you may be paralyzed with fear about your future with work and your financial stability - you have sustained a big hit due to the Credit Crunch and it looks like there's more to come. Your employment looks shaky and there seems to be few opportunities for you available.




Let's say you have three thoughts - three yearnings:

1. "I wish this crash wasn't happening!"


2. "I want companies to be hiring not firing!"


3. "I wish all this doom and gloom wasn't happening -why can't it all be back the way it was?"
   

These are all called "Useless Yearning" - characterised by wishing, wanting and hoping, they have nothing to do with reality - only what you want from reality - in fact, they are simply your reaction to discomfort and pain - a form of escape and denial that delivers small comfort to you in times of change.

How do you turn "Useless Yearning" into "Useful Yearning"?

You turn the "Useless Yearning" into a description of something you want that is within your span of control, even if it involves the help of others to make it happen.

For example, you could change the previous "Useless Yearnings" into:

1. I want my investments in safe and rewarding investments and my financial position to improve in this current situation of Credit Crunch.


2. I want my career path to be secure and rewarding no matter which companies are downsizing.


3. I want to learn to feel focused and grounded, no matter what is going on around me!

See the difference? See how useful yearnings transform hope into choice and opportunity?

Transforming "Useless Yearning" to "Useful Yearning" will give you traction, new options and new ways forward.

Staying in Useless Yearning will keep you in the dangerous areas of denial and resistance in your emotional cycle of your reaction to change.

Turning useless yearning allows you to roll up your sleeves and make something positive happen.

Thanks to Martha for this amazing distinction http://marthabeck.com/blog/

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