Yesterday, as determined by Hallmark Cards, was father's day and after a conversation with my mate Kevin Lohan, who shared that he was going to conduct his day as an opportunity to share with all the ones he loved his love for them.
Inspired by that, I planned my day around that. In the morning I busied myself with a mixture of chores around the house and time spent hanging out with my son, playing music and looking at books.
We had been invited next door, to commemorate the loss of their 20 year old boy a month ago.
Suddenly I found myself in the company of about ten fathers, an equal amount of mothers and their families, all of them supporting the father, mother and family of the lost boy.
All of us fathers were aware of why we were there, all of us had relinquished center stage of our own nuclear family and all of us were facing the horror of losing a child for one of our close friends.
Unexpectedly, there were speeches by two of the fathers. Most of what was said was how we all valued our relationships with each other and how special our neighbors were to all of us. How our children are our gift and our responsibility and our joy.
It was a sobering time of coming together.
The loss of a child really does bring up; What does it mean to be human? What does it mean to be a parent? ...and what does it mean to be a father?
I left the gathering of families to ponder those questions.
And I came up with the following list of roles a father takes on:
- Breadwinner
- Peacemaker
- Law enforcer
- Moral Modeller
- Behavior Modeller
- Source of Unconditional Love
- Mind stretcher
- Introducer of the world to my children
- Listener
- Fan
- Cheerleader
- Nurse
- Cook
- Cleaner
- Dress and Presentation Standard Official
- Music Teacher
- Session Musician
- Clown
- Bicycle coach
- Advocate
- Learning Designer
- Story Teller
- Home Environment Caretaker
- Rubbish Remover
- Adventure coordinator
- Answer Provider
- Oh boy!
The list could go on I'm sure!
But bottom line, the list is a reflection of my vision of being a great Dad. The day was going well for me, making Father's day be about the people around me and letting my son know I love him. But Rose had forgotten that it was Father's Day, and one thing that was important to me was to be acknowledged by the mother of my child and my wife/lover/friend/business partner as the father of my son. She experienced me as being grumpy around her and nearly fell of her chair when I told her it was father's day - "Happy Father's Day!" she shouted with laughter, nearly falling off her chair - "I wondered why you were so grumpy!"
....I was sure I wasn't that grumpy!
So, what's your vision of being a great Dad? Is it written down? - you might want to have a look at one of my posts about writing up a vision - Visions really help you live into your values!
So for all of you Dads and all of you mums who are being Dads - happy Father's Day for yesterday!
And may your vision of being the best possible Dad be clear and available to you to guide you every day!
Email Mike...
Posts
1 comment:
Someone once told me that the best thing that Dads can do for their kids, is to love their mother! I think this should go on your list (great list by the way)
Post a Comment